Today's "Already Did" List

Ok, so it's not even noon yet and I've accomplished the following amazing feats:

- hemmed a pair of pants (and wearing them now)
- left the house without coffeeing up (oh, sweet regret)
- gave advice on healing fractured ribs (owie owie owie)
- terminated and unterminated two employees (uhh, oops)

What a life.

Today's "Already Done" List

So far today, I have accomplished the following:

-contemplated metal babies
-misplaced my phone in my office
-carried a 40lb box of papers around when I didn't have to
-cut my thumb
-broke a stapler (it's not even a Swingline)
-gotten the lyrics to "Love Shack" stuck in my head
-envied a man who works 4 hours a week and makes more money than I do

And it's barely past noon... wtf.